It's been just around six weeks since my dad died.
People have told me that I'll find "a new normal," but for now it just all still seems surreal.
There's a lot I want to document about everything that happened, but I can't. Not yet.
I don't cry every day anymore, but I've reached the point where something out of the blue, or the little things, will upset me and make me sad. Stuff like passing by the merlot section in BevMo. It's never been my favorite varietal, but it was my dad's favorite, so I'd always buy him a nice bottle for the holidays that we'd end up sharing. Tonight I wrote out all the cards for my parents' grandkids, grand-nieces & grand-nephews on behalf of my mom. Then I realized that with my mom's condition (dementia) and my dad's passing, there'd be no more cards for me from my parents on special occasions. And I still can't bear to read a newspaper when I'm up in San Francisco, because my dad and I would always swap sections.
I have no idea how to get through this Christmas weekend.
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- Ann Marie
- I'm a non-sharky, but slightly snarky, lawyer in her early 30s trying to enjoy life to its fullest.
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7 comments:
I'm so, so sorry for your loss.
I know it will probably be painful for a long time, that can only be the case when you're that close with a parent. He did so good with you AMP, raised a great woman. I'm sure he's smiling down on you all and will be with you in spirit and love this holiday. Huge love to you.
I have been thinking about you a lot! Holidays are hard after a death. Hopefully you can recall some great Christmas memories with your dad that you can share with Juliette when she is older. Much love my friend.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It is the toughest thing to go through. I have no words of wisdom but wanted to let you know that you have readers out there that are here to support you. Hugs.
Be strong, AMP.
Sending you virtual hugs, AM
It's been 10 years since my dad passed away and the holidays are still hard for me. The pain gets less intense with each passing year, but it's still difficult.
I'm so sorry, AM. I know that it's hard to be strong, but your dad would be so proud of you right now. You're doing an amazing job of supporting your mom through this time. You are in my thoughts often. Hang in there.
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