1. This picture doesn't capture the truly atrocious hot pink panels on the underside of the male skater's trench coat. And why on earth would an ice dancer want to wear a trench coat during a competitive performance? Seeing a skater's line and extension is crucial when evaluating an ice dancer. This was fug with no function.
2. This year's compulsory dance was the Paso Doble. As the Paso Doble is supposed to mimic a bullfight, the feathers did not make much sense. Especially the ones on the female's head. Perhaps they were attempting to do Paso Doble meets Swan Lake?
3. The '80s called. They want their costumes back.
4. Hot pink hot pants. Hot pink faux legwarmers. Lavender holographic unitard. Can you say hot mess? Now granted this pair did skate to the theme of Lost in Space, which somewhat explains their get-ups. But apart from being a bit hard on the eyes, these costumes also seemed to be of poor quality. Let's just say that we weren't the only ones who found it a bit chilly inside of Staples Center.
5. I like pink, I really do. But it just wasn't working well on the ice this year.
6. This picture doesn't completely capture what was wrong with this outfit. But I think that we can all agree that sheer black illusion fabric is generally not a good look on a man.
7. The bones were sparkly, but still jarring and scary.
8. Was this gladiator outfit made for a skating competition or for the Halloween sale at Party City? Just say no to turning skating boots into gold lame gladiator boots.
9. There aren't too many other sports where one can dress like a hooker complete with thigh-highs and a garter belt. This French ice dance team embraced the opportunity to do so.
10. Fluorescent green tulle. 'Nuff said.
11. She could open an aerobics studio with the '80s pair in #3.
12. And finally, what do Mickey Mouse gloves have to do with interpreting music by The White Stripes and Kanye West?
Lest you think all these thoughts were bottled up inside me all week, I actually had the very good fortune of sitting with a group of fun and snarky skating fans that I've known for years. Sometimes I wonder what the people around us must think, but so far no one has tried to beat us up for our outspokenness. It's a good thing skating fans are generally civilized.